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That's it, right there: the ten most frequently-utilized Avengers of the Silver Age, on the one hand; and the ten most constantly called-upon JLAers of the Silver Age, right there on the other. No Phantom Strangers or Firestorms or Orions, in other words. No Black Knights or Sersis or Hulks. The mainstays. The movers and shakers. The BIG Dawgs. ;-))
The two teams are squaring off on a level
and featureless plain; somewhere outside and beyond the accepted boundaries
of normal time and space. |
Unca's "take" on this'un is as
follows: the combination of alien physiognomy and (highly probable)
instinctive, defensive shifting to "wraith" form keeps a (nonetheless)
stunned and reeling J'onn in the proverbial game, for another round.
He and the Vision are gonna have to continue this brutal business into Round Three, therefore, before it's all over and done with. |
The Wasp (meanwhile) launches herself towards Green Lantern, firing off a nettlesome series of her patented "wasp stings."
One quick'n'efficient power ring'd bubble after that, however: she's a helpless captive... and a combat non-factor.
Sit this one out, Janet.
It's only gonna get bloodier and more awful, from here on out. ;-))
Yeah, yeah... I know: "super-strong Atlantean muscles," and alla that.
The Good Captain, however, has gone mano a mano against the Sub-Mariner, f'chrissakes. Who -- unlike Aquaman -- can (and has) survived slapping contests with the Incredible Hulk.
I'm thinkin': Arthur ends up slurpin' sushi through a bloody straw, by the time Mr. Stars-And-Stripes gets through with him. ;-))
The Panther and The Bat, meanwhile, are circling one another warily; each one "reading" the tense and coiled movements of the other.
T'Challa is the first to break off the confrontational impasse, ultimately; and the two superbly-trained combatants grapple.
This is another To-Be-Continued bout, fer shure, fer shure.
Finally: the Scarlet Witch -- unable to re-focus her attention (and energy) upon her itsy-bitsy oppponent until he was practically right on top of her -- got a one-hundred-and-eighty pound smackdown, courtesy of pint-sized paladin Ray Palmer, Esq.
So... here's what it all looks like, then, as we enter Round Three:
AVENGERS
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JUSTICE LEAGUE
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Both teams have taken significant losses, thus far; with the League now minus the combined services of Aquaman, Gren Arrow and Hawkman...
... but with the Avengers (at this juncture) shakier still; down a full one-half of their total team roster, with Goliath; Hawkeye; Iron Man; Scarlet Witch; and the Wasp all convincingly numbered amongst the fallen.
Advantage, then (so far): the Justice League.
The Flash -- having already disposed of his primary opponent, with
hyper-accelerative dispatch -- alertly glances about the field of battle;
seeking a likely secondary target...
... and notices -- his own senses being (naturally) more attuned to the observation of this sort of phenomena -- that: "Hey... is that somebody else zipping about at super-speed, by golly...?"
Now: Quicksilver's top speed has repeatedly been given as being something in the 700 M.P.H. category. (Which ain't exactly shabby, by any means, He Added Hastily.)
The Flash, on the other hand, can (and has) surpassed multiples of light speed. While running backwards.
This one isn't even a decent contest, f'chrisaakes.
Quicksilver better hope he can heal at 700 M.P.H., boy. That's all I can say. ;-))
Superman and Wonder Woman are both casting about for new foemen, as well; and
observe, jointly, that the sole remaining airborne Avenger not already engaged
(i.e., Thor) has just finished playing hackysack with Hawkman's head.
Now: if it was just Superman versus Thor... then: Thor, probably.
If it was just Wonder Woman versus Thor: Thor, almost definitely.
Superman (Juggles Entire Planets. Just For Fun.) AND Wonder Woman (Stronger Than Frickin' Hercules) versus Thor, however...?
Well: both Supes and WW possess super-speed... and Thor doesn't.
They can (and almost assuredly would) approach the thunder god from opposite directions. (Robbing him of the opportunity of a two-for-one "lightning stike"-type attack; even if they weren't both zeroing in at something just under, say, Mach One.)
Even assuming the absolute worst for the Leaguers -- i.e., that Thor turns his fullest attentions against the onrushing Superman, in a ferocious, all-or-nothing assault (which would certainly effect major, major damage to everybody's fav'rite Big Blue Boyscout) --
... that still affords Diana a clear shot at ol' Cap'n Asgard with that funky, unbreakable magic lasso of hers; which has (repeatedly) been shown to be every last bit as efficacious upon the deities of various pantheons as it is on ordinary schlub bankrobbers, and suchlike.
Badda-boom, badda-BING. And the Avengers have just been stripped of their most potent and pressing threat, power-wise.
Meanwhile -- elsewhere, in the killer skies -- Hal Jordan has observed that J'onn J'onzz is having rather the worse of things, Handling-The- Vision-wise; and zooms on over, to lend a much-needed power ringed hand.
Well, sir: it's the Supes/WW/Thor equation all over again, at this juncture. ;-))
Even granting the Vision every last benefit of blind chance -- and allowing
him to shift instantly (to say nothing of inexplicably omnisciently) to his
secondary mode of attack (i.e., "solar blast") versus an opponent uniquely
vulnerable to such an onslaught, overall...
... the avenging android has to turn solid, once more, in order to enact said stratagem.
Let's say the Manhunter does hit the mat, then. Just for the sake of sweet argument, mind.
If the Vision thought he had a fight on his plasticene hands before, with the Manhunter --
... hell: he ain't seen nothin', yet. ;-))
Now: we left the two grim, obscenely wealthy, rooftop-skulkin'-type guys a-wrasslin' back down on the ground, earlier, right...? ;-))
Could go either way, really. T'Challa's probably the tad stronger of the two, physically (we're talkin' a fellah who once wrassled a charging rhinoceros to the ground, back in the JUNGLE ACTION day)...
... whereas the Bat spent a good -- what? -- fifteen or
twenty years wandering the globe, mastering every last arcane method of
hand-to-hand combat known to man.
AND has a utility belt crammed full of handy, equalizing goodies (gas
capsules; a tazer; etcetera), on top of that, for pity's sake.Unca's gonna have to side (somewhat reluctantly, admittedly;
he really, really LIKES the Panther, as all good CHEEKS site regulars are
doubtless well aware) with The Dark Knight, on this'un.
Whether by studied combat prowess or sneaky, last-ditch belt "gimmick" gambit: the Panther is -- sooner or later -- goin' down.
That leaves the Atom free to turn his attentions, in turn, towards the victorious Captain America; a battle the latter probably expects to win, I'll betcha. Betcha a dollar. ;-))
Unlike the previously vanquished Aquaman, however: Cap is a uniquely skilled hand-to-hand combatant. And (additionally) enjoys the benefit of carrying an indestructible shield into battle, as well.
Too: Cap's probably taken on Ant-Man; Yellowjacket; and the Wasp any number of times, during countless Avengers Mansion training sessions; and (you could probably bet the family farm on it, without sweating it overmuch) almost certainly has a few tactical ploys committed to memory, versus teensy-tiny opponents.
Let's be fair, here: Unca gave the nod to the Bat, earlier, after all.
Cap manages to swat an incoming Atom a good'un, with the shield; making like a red, white and blue Mark McGwire, in star-spangled turn. ("... annnnnnnnnnnnnd: it's headed outta the BALLPARK -- !") ;-))
Captain America's two-for-two...
... and, heck: he isn't even decently winded, yet. ;-))
Round Four, comin' right up... and the ranks have been winnowed further, on both sides:
AVENGERS
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JUSTICE LEAGUE
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Well, really: it's pretty much almost over but for the shouting, at this point, isn't it...? ;-))
Superman and Wonder Woman zip in to aid Green Lantern versus the Vision... and: it's gonna be rainin' plastic for days, hereabouts.
The Batman and the Flash double-team Captain America... and: the flag's at half-mast, bay-beeee.
Even had Unca allowed the two "maybe" battles to turn the other way -- granting the Avengers a still-conscious Black Panther and Goliath -- it still wouldn't end up adding enough to the ranks of Team Marvel to make any conceivable difference, raw, nekkid power-wise.
Simply put: even after allowing them every single, last "break" possible and/or imaginable -- reducing (say) the telepathic and shape-shifting J'onn J'onzz to a virtual non-factor, on top of everything else --
... the Avengers of the Silver Age just plain ol' ain't buff enough to take on their DC counterparts, pound for proverbial pound.
Not without playing the typically self-serving logistical games favored by far too many Marvel devotees, online, whenever the subject (inevitably) arises, at any rate. (e.g.: "Thor immediately singles out the one guy out of ten or twelve with the heightened vulnerability to magic, and gives him a fast, hard hammer enema. Just... ummmmmm... because his 'Magic Sense' starts tinglin', or somethin'. He's... like... a god, y'know? Dude.") ;-))
A few quick'n'dirty post-battle observations, at this juncture:
1.) It has been noted, prior to this -- but (just possibly) merits the repetition -- that the chiefest difference between the flagship Marvel Comics characters and the DC Comics one is: the former are the more naturalistic and "human"; and the latter, the more iconic and "god-like."
Unca would like to posit, here, that -- if such is, in fact, the four-color way of things (and, as purest theory: it's certainly open to reasoned and reasonable debate) -- said fannish belief goes a long, lonnnnnnnng way towards explaining the massive and inarguable power differential between the big league team "franchises" for said companies, respectively.
The prototypical DC Comics character is -- whether by nature (think Superman, here); accident (think Flash); determination (Batman); or commission (Green Lantern) -- so far above and removed from the ordinary constraints of common humanity, as to be well and truly something... other.
The prototypical Marvel Comics character, by way of comparison, is (very nearly always) One Who Has Been Exalted; only to end up sighing and pining for their long-lost humanity. (The Thing, longing for a return to the feelings and frailties of the flesh; Spider-Man, staggering under the accumulated tonweight of his own assumed, super-heroic responsibilities; the X-Men, chaffing jointly under the yoke of their own "mutant"-hood; etcetera, etcetera.)
Under meta-fictive constraints such as these, then: it remains highly unlikely that the keystone characters of the latter could ever, ever "measure up," battle-wise, to the (literally) Olympian standards of the former; failing, of course, the standard fanboyish gerrymandering of roster and rationale.
[UNCA CHEEKS' ASIDE: There will be a diehard few, doubtless -- unhappy that their team did not make the logistical "cut," victory-wise -- who will write in, blisteringly: "... yeah... well... the Silver Age DC Comics heroes were obviously too god-like to make a fair match-up out of it. Wouldn't of ended up that way if you'd utilized the present-day JLA line-up, goldang it!"
[Unca would merely like it noted, by way of measured and reasoned response, that said present-day League roster includes a "Green Lantern" whose ring possesses no inherent vulnerability to the color yellow; a "Flash" who can play absolutely devastating little party games with the comparative reaction speeds of both his opponents and his own teammates; and an "Aquaman" whose inborn telepathic abilities have only been cranked up so wayhigh, they now routinely are shown capable of striking down non-aquatic foemen from afar.
[In other words: don't go there, buttercups.] ;-))
2.) There will be some complaints, doubtless, that Unca did not "pair off" the two teams' respective combatants in the standard and accepted combinations. (e.g.: Superman/Thor; Atom/Wasp; etcetera.)
As painstakingly explicated throughout all of the foregoing, however: that's
precisely because "the standard and accepted" fanboy permutations in the order
of battle -- plainly and simply; far, far more often than not -- depend upon the
characters possessing powers; knowledge; and motivations well and truly beyond
their respective ken.
Thunder Gods, for instance -- no matter how practiced in the art of combat -- do not (inexplicably) possess the instinct requisite to the unerring "homing in" on those opponents whose chiefest vulnerability is to Thunder Gods, sans prior possession of such knowledge.
Likewise: Martians and Amazonian princesses -- no matter how wise, or stalwart -- can not (again: inexplicably) airily deduce, from the mere possession of a war mallet, that any opponent wielding same needs to maintain near-constant possession of same, minus ready access to a bound collection of THE HANDBOOK OF THE MARVEL UNIVERSE.
What Unca's been trying and trying to TELL you, people, is this:
There's no good, logical or inherent reason why (say) a Thor; a Superman; a Batman; or a Captain America would (or should) automatically "target" any one particular character, within a crowd of same; save for (as already demonstrated) those visual and/or contextual "clues" as might ordinarily be afforded them, via hurried and adrenalized observation.
.. or, to put it more succinctly:The common coin of fannish "wisdom" is -- here; as in so many other instances -- counterfeit.
So: what else is new...? ;-))
Now: let's not waste any more valuable breath or bandwidth, endlessly nattering over this silly business anymore, shall we? Huh?
Please?
Pretty please...? ;-))
LEGAL SHAMANISMS
A few quick passes of the mandatory "legal mumbo-jumbo" magic wand, here: all likenesses, images and logos of the comics characters on this and the following pages are the sole copyright and/or trademark of DC Comics, Inc.; Marvel Comics Entertainment Group; Hanna-Barbera Studios; and/or Archie Comics. All movie stills, images and posters are the sole copyright and/or trademark of their respective film studios, fan clubs and/or individual corporate owners; and all album covers, photographs and/or song lyrics are the sole copyright and/or trademark of their respective recording labels, fan clubs and/or individual corporate owners. These images, etc. are reproduced solely for scholarly and/or archival purposes, only; and their inclusion herein is provided for by the appropriate Fair Usage provisions covering (and rendering legal) such non-commercial, not-for-profit usage. No one's making Dime One of profit here, folks... so all you ravenous attorney- types can just sit the @#$% down and enjoy the proceedings along with the rest of us. Destroy All Lawyers. ;-)
BLOG PAGES
Freedom Force Info
Alex's Hero Conversion Tips
Comics Corner
JLA v Avengers - Once and For All!
The JLA Mod
Setting The Scene
Making a list, checking it twice ...
Infinite possibilities
My Hero Sandbox
A little background
Fast and Furious
Getting somewhere!
Magical Mystery Tour
They pull me back in!
By The Numbers
* Any comics characters are TM and copyright of their respective owners. These are FREE third-party add-ons that claim no license to any of the likenesses contained herein. We are just lowly fans showing our love for the characters! Irrational Games (TM) and Freedom Force (R) are trademarks of Irrational Games LLC and/or its affiliates. Freedom Force is the copyrighted property of Irrational Games. |